Moises

Moises: Ms. Huang, you failed me?!
Me: I believe I did.
Moises: Why?! You gave me an F?! Don't I at least deserve a D-?
Me: Moises, tell me why I should've passed you.
Moises: I took your quiz!
Me: You didn't pass it.
Moises: So? But I took your quiz!
Me: Moises, but did you pass?
Moises: No.. but, I took your quiz! Doesn't that count for something?
(Mind you, he would not take the first one.)
Me: Moises, listen to what you're saying. Did you do your classwork?
Moises: Um.. yeah..
Me: Why don't we take a look at your binder.
Moises: Yes, why don't we!
Anthony: Oh, you shouldn't do that..
We open the notebook only to find worksheets that blank and untouched.
Me: Moises, I could take your notebook and give to someone who has been absent as make up work.
Moises: Augh. Fine. I'll make it up right now.

I don't know. Kids these days.



In other news, Shamik was suspended for three days, after flipping a table over in my room..

Students are so fickle.

It seems that Evy and I are okay now. She's back after three days of suspension and we had nothing but pleasantry today. I sometimes forget that my students are in fact still kids.. kids who lead volatile lives, and as such, can be tempermental. But I'll take it for now.

---

Evy asked if she could bring me to get a body piercing if she got an A in my class 3rd marking period. Go figure. :)

A ray of sunshine,

I want to be.

Again.


A source of hope,

One who knows Hope.

I want to be.

Again.


To fall at Your feet.

And see nothing else,

but the cross.


Again.

Sometimes, I think I should be a high school counselor instead of being a teacher. To teach can be so emotionally draining, especially when you're at a standstill with a student. Other times though, when you remove the student from his/her peers, the difference in behavior is tremendous. Without the societal pressures to maintain a certain image-- a certain pride -- the student lays down his/her guard and becomes almost.. human. Moises, who cut class on Monday, who refused to take his quiz on Friday, approaches me during lunch and we have a good half hour talk about what's going on. Catherine, who refuses to go to triage because it's "effin' Emilio's fault for throwing sh*t at me", is able to acknowledge and not only understand her trespasses, but actually take ownership of her misbehavior (and dirty mouth) once she is separated from her instigators. We finally understand one another (I hope). And Evy.. well, Evy and I have yet to reconcile.. yet again. In time, or until next time, I suppose.

I'm exhausted though.

I finally started picking up my Bible again. 

Sometimes, I read it and I think about how hard it is to live up its mandates. "Let love be genuine." "Outdo one another in showing honor." "Be of one spirit." "Hope does not fail." And then I think of all grudges I harbor, and how it's so much easier to hold onto our own self-entitlements, than to surrender our pride for freedom from our sinful natures.

And then I read about Jesus and think, "He wasn't such a nice guy." And then I think, "Do I really know Him intimately, because right now, it feels like I'm reading a history book and making observations from a distance."

And then I question why "God consigns all to disobedience, that he may have mercy on all" and then agree that yes, "How unsearchable are his judgements and how inscrutable his ways!" (Roman 11.32-33), but I wonder if that's a good thing at all.