I have a problem. And it is called compartmentalizing.
Out of sight, out of mind. The motto that my life has, for the most part, lived by. It's a problem.
If you ask me about my students right now and my job, I'll probably give you the generic, "Oh it's going well - I really like my students. They're crazy sometimes, and not having a curriculum to work from sucks, but I'm learning a lot."
I won't tell you about period 5 and how frustrated I get when Oscar pretends the T-Square is an automatic gun. And I won't tell you about Orlando, the Christian rapper and talented artist. I won't tell you about Lynes, who stayed after school to help me organize folders and told me about her church. And probably, I won't tell you that Gabriel said today that he believed me when I told him I would be sad if he died.
And I won't tell you that Eric threatened Mr. Cardona that he would "mush his face." And I won't tell you that I told Eric that he doesn't have to be like this. That he doesn't have to fail - to lose focus, just because there are so many bad influences around. That his teachers are not out to get him. That I know he has the potential and the capability because I've heard it and because I've seen it. That he can prove it to himself and everyone else that he can do better. And I won't tell you that I made a copy of his two-point streetscape perspective drawing and hung it in the office and that when he found out, he flipped and said "You did what?!" and ran to the office to see it, only to say, "But this isn't even my final drawing!" I won't tell you that I was scared sh*tless that may have been a moment of lost trust - that I was infinitely relieved that he was more proud than embarrassed of his work.
But alas, even though I might not tell you, this is my life now.
Out of sight, out of mind. The motto that my life has, for the most part, lived by. It's a problem.
If you ask me about my students right now and my job, I'll probably give you the generic, "Oh it's going well - I really like my students. They're crazy sometimes, and not having a curriculum to work from sucks, but I'm learning a lot."
I won't tell you about period 5 and how frustrated I get when Oscar pretends the T-Square is an automatic gun. And I won't tell you about Orlando, the Christian rapper and talented artist. I won't tell you about Lynes, who stayed after school to help me organize folders and told me about her church. And probably, I won't tell you that Gabriel said today that he believed me when I told him I would be sad if he died.
And I won't tell you that Eric threatened Mr. Cardona that he would "mush his face." And I won't tell you that I told Eric that he doesn't have to be like this. That he doesn't have to fail - to lose focus, just because there are so many bad influences around. That his teachers are not out to get him. That I know he has the potential and the capability because I've heard it and because I've seen it. That he can prove it to himself and everyone else that he can do better. And I won't tell you that I made a copy of his two-point streetscape perspective drawing and hung it in the office and that when he found out, he flipped and said "You did what?!" and ran to the office to see it, only to say, "But this isn't even my final drawing!" I won't tell you that I was scared sh*tless that may have been a moment of lost trust - that I was infinitely relieved that he was more proud than embarrassed of his work.
But alas, even though I might not tell you, this is my life now.
1 comment:
sounds like every day is an adventure. possible movie? haha
merry christmas
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